Random Thoughts For The Week 11.30.05

I decided to skip a true Weekend Recap because honestly, it was just too goddamned boring. Still curious as to what I did? I ate turkey. Twice. I had porn star sex. Twice. I sat on my couch, sniffling and coughing. 'Nuff said.

So without further ado, here are some random cogitations...

*Souse meat, scrapple, and liver mush. Southern breakfast meat staples. Now, I'm all about some liver mush (or liver pudding), since my Grandmommy used to make it. And honestly, the name conveys more than a titch of vomitous rumblings, but its actually very good. As the good folks at Neese's say, It don't taste like pudding, and it don't look like liver. That said, I do not eat souse meat or scrapple. Those are the nastiest parts on a pig, ground up to make some sort of mystery breakfast meat.

*I haven't worked out in over a week. Stir Crazy, meet Sethro. Sethro, Stir Crazy. I don't want to put my body through any additional stress right now since I'm still feeling like complete ass.

*Speaking of feeling like ass, as part of my cold/sinus infection/avian flu/URI/death virus treatment, the doc prescribed sinus irrigation. Has anyone ever done this before? Holy fuck. Imagine being nasally raped by Peter North, and then multiply that feeling by a factor of 7.2. This is not a fun process, let me tell you.

*If you're looking for any last minute gift ideas for ol' Sethro, here's a quick wishlist:

iPod Nano
Kenneth Cole Wool Peacoat
Crestron Adagio Audio Server
Pottery Barn Sumatra Bedroom Suite
HP Photosmart 8750 Printer
Trek Fuel EX6 Mountain Bike
A Date With Her

*George R.R. Martin is one of my favorite authors, and his newest book, A Feast For Crows is sitting on my coffee table. The problem is, I can't seem to find the gumption to really get started. I'm normally a voracious reader, so who knows what's going on. Maybe I'll pick it up again this weekend.

*FOF is using some rather transparent machinations to try and manipulate me into asking her if she wants to come spend the night. I'm not giving in. She did the same yesterday, and I acquiesced, albeit reluctantly. Not that I don't want to see her, but I like for it to be on my terms. Sure, I'm a selfish ass, but haven't we established that already?

*Finally, since I posted about the ugliest dog in the world earlier this week, I thought it only fair to give equal time to the cutest dog in the world. Specifically, the hellspawn that is Mr. Winkle. Don't look at his eyes too long folks, else you'll be mesmerized by his demonic gaze, and forced by his will to do unspeakable acts of depravity.

South Park Sethro

From FINY's blog, its create your own South Park avatar...

South Park Sethro

All my regular posters need to go to the South Park Studio Site, create one, and send to me here. I'll collect and make us a nice suprise.

Down And Out

...and other preoccupations.

*What is it about colds that makes one want to curl up and die? I've been feeling like ass since Monday. Doc says its viral. This particular affliction started in my head, moved to my chest, back as sinus congestion, and is now back in my chest. Even my colds have ADHD.

*I am bummed (as if the cold wasn't enough)...Mr. Miyagi died this weekend. Man who catch fly accomplish anything. Rest in peace, Pat Morita.

*I feel a little sickened (hmm...there seems to be a recurring theme beginning to develop here). FOF is here on a Sunday night. We had dinner and a coffee, then came back to my house to watch Grey's Anatomy. While waiting on the show to begin, we sit here on my couch, being completely domesticated, like we've been married for years. FOF with her book, me with my laptop. We've been dating 5 weeks. There is something wrong here.

*UNC stays home for the holidays this year. No bowl game. Meh. Basketball season may not be much better this year, with Ol' Roy starting three freshmen.

*There is a considerable amount of angst with regard to Christmas shopping this year. I have no idea what I'm getting anyone, outside of a few photos I took that I'll be framing.

*Next year, I think I want to go on a road trip. Take about 2 weeks off work and just drive. Well, maybe plan a few places to stay and things to do, but I really want to get away and see more of the country. Honestly, I think I've seen more of Europe than I have of the US. I should probably try and figure out where to go though, really based on how much time I'll need. Should I head up the East coast? Maybe head west and go as far as I can in 2 weeks?

*Finally, in keeping with the melancholy, I leave you with this. The world's ugliest dog died this weekend. Yeesh. Thank God.

The Weekend Recap 11.22.05

I gotta apologize for my tardiness on this post here, and in general over the past week or so. Work has me swamped and to top it off, I have a head cold. Unfortunately, that puts the blog as low man on the totem pole. I'll get back to daily posting soon, but until then, the public flogging will be held on Thursday, December 1st.

On a somewhat related note, a friend mentioned to me the other day that my blog has now become boring since I'm only dating one woman, and that it was much more exciting when I was juggling women. I'll be happy to start juggling women again, but cannot spare the time to look for them right now. Applications are being accepted at sethro@nc.rr.com. Must like dogs. And sex. But not sex with dogs. Just with me. Meaning having sex with me. Not me having sex with the dog. Just me having sex with the woman. The dog might watch though.

Friday
Good Times. I did get to see Steve America's little one, Thunder America. I swear, he looked like a little superhero lying there in his crib. Seriously though, he should replace Aquaman as one of the Superfriends.

Saturday
As noted, I felt like ass, at least most of the morning. Honestly, I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what the hell I did all day. I'm pretty sure that it consisted of walking around my house doing my best Boris Karloff impersonation, and laying on my couch watching glorious college football.

The FOF and I have an early date. We are cooking. Together. Oh boy. Is this like the next step in the relationship or something? Hell if I know...I just wanted to make my Triple Threat Chili™ and she suggested that she could make some Mexican Cornbread. I was amenable, but lets not make a big deal out of it, m'kay? Anyway, she comes over around 2ish and we head to the store for ingredients.

I'll just interject here and note that FOF had a salon appointment on Saturday to get her hair cut. And I mean cut. She had several inches taken off. Have I mentioned lately how much I prefer women with short hair? Crikey!

Anywho, we cook, we eat. I must say, and I don't feel like I cook many things very well, my chili is the shit. This batch was extra spicy and damn good. I still have plenty, so if you want a sample, head on over to Casa de Sethro for a taste. Since my sister loves Triple Threat Chili™, FOF and I packed some up and headed over. We played with the kids a bit, and I died laughing when Terd Ferguson (a.k.a. Luke, my sister's youngest), tried saying FOF's name. He has a deep voice for a 2 year old and the name came out so funny, I'm still laughing at it now.

We watched a movie back at my house and called it a night. Ended up being a really good day and a fine date. We're still feeling each other out and getting to know one another, but its going well. I do get the distinct feeling that she is feeling more strongly about us than I am, but I'm ok right now. I'm still not into rushing things when it comes to true emotional attachment, so I'm apt to hold back and be somewhat guarded.

Sunday
Coffee or The Secks™? I opt for the latter, though in doing so, the decision is mentally made to move the Cuisinart upstairs and have a water line put into my bedroom, so as to afford me the ability to enjoy both coffee and The Secks™ at the same time. Sometimes my idiosyncratic genius comes in handy.

Sunday has become somewhat of an errand running day for me. I'm not sure why, but I just haven't been that interested in the NFL this year, even though the Panthers are actually doing pretty well. Don't get me wrong, I've spent the Sabbath vegged out on the couch more than once this year, watching whatever game CBS or Fox wanted to show me...its just that I don't feel the need to be tied to the sofa. Ended up doing the grocery thing, which was good because I was running low on Manna from Heaven, otherwise known as cereal. I was also able to go out and pick up some long sleeve shirts that actually fit me, since nearly everything I have from last year is now too small. Damn those Fat Guy clothes. The remainder of the afternoon consisted of a run and a lifting session. By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted.

Grey Anatomy rocked. A thought...outside of the hair, I can't see the fascination with Patrick Dempsey, a.k.a. the little geeky dude in Can't Buy Me Love (which I'm almost ashamed to admit seeing while on a date back in high school...ah yes, Tina from down the street. My memory is better than I thought. Fuck me, I guess that ginkgo biloba really does work!) All that said, the show kicks ass and the women are, well, more than easy on the eyes.

Top 5 Comedic Movie Quotes

In posting the quote from Anchorman earlier this week, an idea materialized for this week's Top 5. I started thinking of all the comedies out there with great lines or quotes, and after picking myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I decided that I had to share my top picks from some of the funniest movies ever made. Recognize, bitches.

5. Friday
So I'm actually breaking protocol on #5 here, by just including a couple quotes, out of context, from one character...but how could I not? We're talking John Witherspoon here. He may be one of the funniest men to ever grace the silver screen. His expressions, that voice, the perfect timing. I can't remember anything I've seen him in where I haven't fallen out of my chair laughing at him.

Mr. Jones: I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure.

Mr. Jones: [on toilet] Boy, get your ass in here. I smelled your shit for... 22 years. Now you can smell mine for five minutes.

Mr. Jones: [coming out of the bathroom] Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window.

Mr. Jones: Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin' up all the food. All the chitlins... All the pig's feet... All the collard greens... All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins... I like pigs feet.


4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Yeah, I know, some people just don't get the Brit humour, but I'm sorry, Monty Python is just hilarious. Smart and funny, which is a little harder to come by in many American comedies. The Holy Grail was essentially an epic version of the troupe's sketch comedy, but it worked. Oh, and it was gut-bustingly hysterical. Run awaaaaay!


Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
Sir Robin: I don't know that. [he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel... [he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that. [he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.


3. Office Space
With Flair! Maybe this movie is only funny to people who work in corporate America, but fuck me, Mike Judge hits the mark with his portrayal of life at the fictional Initech. Fucking TPS reports...I hate 'em. Anyway, this quote is from the candid conversation between Peter and his neighbor Lawrence (keenly played by Diedrich Bader of Drew Carey fame).

Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man - two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the kind of chicks that'd double up on me do.
Peter: Good point.
Lawrence: What about you ... what would you do?
Peter: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter: I'd relax, sit on my ass all day. I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke — don't do shit.


2. Fletch
Fantastically funny movie, and definitely Chevy Chase's best theatrical work (which ain't sayin' much). There are several quotes that I could've chosen, but I opted for the entire scene at the doctor's office. I'm certain that when I saw this for the first time (and second, and third, and...), I hurt my pancreas because I was laughing so hard.


Dr. Joseph Dolan: So where do you know Alan from?
Fletch: We play tennis together at the club.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: Really. The California Racquet Club?
Fletch: Yes.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: That's my club too. I don't remember seeing you there.
Fletch: Well, I haven't played in a while because of these kidney pains.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: Right. Now, how long have you been having these pains, Mr. Barber?
Fletch: That's Babar.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: Two b's?
Fletch: One. B-A-B-A-R.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: That's two.
Fletch: Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
Fletch: I don't know. I don't have any.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: No children?
Fletch: No, elephant books.
...
Dr. Joseph Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was dying for years.
Fletch: Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he died. That was extremely sudden.
...
[During the proctological exam]
Fletch: You ever do any time, Doc?
Dr. Joseph Dolan: Breathe easy.
Fletch: [singing] Mooooooon River...
Fletch: Using the whole fist, Doc?


1. Blazing Saddles
Genius. Sheer genius from comedic mastermind, Mel Brooks. So many quotes. Hell, the whole fucking movie is quotable. As a matter of fact, I'm actually going to include a few quotes, one, because its my fucking blog and I make the rules, and two, because you can't just pick one quote from Blazing Saddles. The repartee between Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder is fantastic and Slim Pickens as Taggart is absolute perfection.

[Taggart spots two workers on a hand-cart sinking into quicksand]
Taggart: Oh shit. Quick. [Lassos the hand-cart and drags it out of the quicksand]
Taggart: Dang that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred dollar handcart.
...
Taggart: Break's over, boys. Don't just lay there gettin' a suntan, ain't gonna do you no good anyhow. Now take this shovel and put it to some good use.
[Bart grabs a shovel and advances on Taggart from behind]
Charlie: Don't do it, Bart.
Bart: Uh-uh, baby, I have to.
Taggart: [to Lyle] Now send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said [Bart whacks him]
Taggart: OWWW!
Lyle: Send wire, main office, tell them I said ow, gotcha.


Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake, but very puzzled.
...
[Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in one long guzzle]
Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE.
Jim: When?
Bart: What's your name?
Jim: Well, my name is Jim, but most people call me... Jim.
...
Bart: You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure, Jim?
Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw...
Bart: [quickly] Let's play chess.


[Jumping up and down, snapping his fingers]
Taggert: Oooo, oooo!
Hedley: Down the hall, to your left.
Taggart: No, I got it.
Hedley: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley: Hmm, no, too Jewish.
[Thinks for a moment, and again starts jumping up and down, snapping his fingers again]
Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folk, of course.
Hedley: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on that night.
Hedley: Marvelous.

Did Anyone See That Cat?

You know, the one that shit in my mouth?

Ouch. I have a colossal hangover. If my brain isn't bleeding, I'll be surprised. And just let me tell you, there's nothing, nothing, like being roused from a comatose slumber at 5:43am by a shrill puppy bark in one's ear. A puppy bark which, loosely translated, means get the fuck out of bed, you lazy, drunken lout, because I'm hungry and have to piss. At least I was able to get back in bed and grab an extra hour of sleep before Little Hellion pulled the comforter and sheet off me.

All I know is, Early Happy Hour™ with Steve America was rekindled in earnest since the birth of little Thunder. The night eventually turned into Late Happy Hour™ but it was good times. However, I'm paying for it now.

The Top 5 for yesterday is tardy, but should be up later.

Update: Code Yellow

We can all stand down, folks. Apparently, Travis was scheming on some insurance fraud, and neglected to let anyone in on his secret until Kenny Rogers showed up.

Thanks to everyone for mobilizing in such short notice. If you'd all like, we can still take over a small third world country, like Canada or Ghana. If not, then beers are on me.

Red Alert! Battlestations! All Personnel To General Quarters!

While it may turn out to be a false alarm, I thought it best to warn everyone in the central North Carolina area that there may, or may not, be a large explosive projectile headed our way. I can only assume that it will actually pass us by in favor of our southern neighbor, Hot'lanta. For the backstory, you can go here. I'll just say this. I like DC. I like most District of Columbians. But, I am not averse to making the trip up I-95 and stomping a redneck sized mudhole in someone's ass. Y'see, us here backwoods country folk don't take too kindly to havin' our kin threatened. I mean, for fuck's sake, did no one learn anything from Next of Kin? Now, I realize that The Playaz have already begun their campaign against their Washingtonian transgressors, but I'm just sayin'...if a missle hits anywhere within 50 miles of the Triangle area, there's gonna be hell to pay.

I am in the process of mobilizing Steve America and his Team America. Steve will likely bring along Dan...Yelle America, who is suffering from post-partum sleeplessness, so she would kill a man just as soon as look at him. Woe unto those who rankle her ire.

If that wasn't enough, communiqués were sent north to Philly engaging my mob ties with Paulie Walnuts. Runners have also been dispatched to the hills of Ken-Tuck-Eee, calling forth my Appalachain Highlander Brigade, led by the Neal Clan.

I realize that with the massing of my collective might, the potential n'er-do-wells in Washington have likely shit themselves. I am deferring any tactical strikes at this point as my marshalling of forces is purely defensive. That said, because of my exposure to a prodigious amount of Chivas Regal and a healthy dose of gamma rays, when angered, strange physiological changes take place. The skin tints, pork chop sideburns and a healthy fu manchu materialize, and the most handsome afro you ever did see appears. Passages from Ezekial are then quoted, and people start to die. So missle-launchers ought tread carefully.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions

Random Thoughts For The Week - 11.15.05

*You know what I hate worse than sitting in I-40 bumper-to-bumper traffic, only to find that when the traffic clears, there was not a fucking thing causing the 9 mile long traffic jam? Nothing. There's nothing I hate more. That said, Estonians come in a close second.

*I would kill a man for a great Italian sub right now.

*I really hate being right. UNC lost to Maryland in overtime this past Saturday.

*Praying Mantises are some badass insects. I'm glad I'm not a hummingbird. Or a tiny little man who treks through gardens frequented by the mantids. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be a tiny little man regardless of where I trekked.



*I love this quote from the movie Anchorman. I cannot stop laughing.

(On smelling Brian Fantana's cologne, Sex Panther...)

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh!
Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food! Oh, excuse me.
Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick!

The Weekend Recap 11.15.05

Ok...so I won't bore anyone with a day by day recount of the extended weekend. Instead, I'm going to be succinct and summarize the weekend as best I can.

I had The Secks™. Lots of it.

Oh, we also drank copious amounts of beer and wine, ate at the finest restaurants in Boone, NC, and had lots of The Secks™. Wait. I mentioned that already. Meh...its worth mentioning again. The cabin was gorgeous and the FOF's friends were fantastic. The friends now love me, by the way...I mean, who knew the key to her friends was a 3am game of Asshole? Considerable time was spent in the hot tub (that time heretofore known as Sethro's Celebrity Hot Tub Party). All in all, it was a great weekend. While there wasn't a fuckton of sleep to be had, it was still somewhat relaxing, and I'm very glad I went.

I'm still processing everything right now. I know I need a Dude Night™ this Friday. I need to discuss matters with my friend, Steve America. Until then, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. And having The Secks™ again. Heh.

The Foxfire Suite

Spring is alive
In Carolina
Deep in the forest
Where the foxfire glows
High on a mountain
Down in a holler
Thunder and lightning
So it goes

~John Denver

I'm off to the mountains...the cabin in the hills of North Carolina. No Top 5 this week, boys and girls. Look for The Weekend Recap on Monday. Until then, I bid you all, adieu. Or as they say in Western NC, Later, Bo.

Random Thoughts For The Week 11.09.05

*Sometimes, being from North Carolina is cool. Our cheerleaders can beat up your cheerleaders. But only before some hot steamy Lesbian Secks in a nasty public bathroom stall. And who said that lesbians were all butchy?

*The decision has been made. I am taking Tae Kwon Do. I've had a problem with dragons ever since I moved in to the new place, and Team Chip TKD will teach me how to rock those motherfuckers so that they never bother me again. Thanks, Chip!

*I am leaving tomorrow morning to go to the mountains with FOF. She asked, and I accepted. I am thinking that ACG was right. I'm showing my exclusivity by deed and not word. I'm just not sure I can get those words out. Com...commi........commitm........*gack* *cough* *hurk* Just can't quite do it.

*I'm going to go on record right now and say that UNC will lose to Maryland this weekend. Just have one of those feelings. Which would mean that they have to beat Dook at home (likely) and VPI on the road (extremely unlikely) to go to a bowl this year.

*This movie will rock nuts across America. I am counting down the days 'til December 14th. A remake of the classic 1933 movie, set in that same time period, with Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson at the helm. Woof.

*During the Fall and Winter months, is it ingrained in the human psyche that we must feel fat? Or is it evolutionary adaptability that causes fat cells to form around one's body in an attempt to keep the extra body heat in. Either way, it fucking sucks.

Slut Puppy

A few recent photos...

10.28.05

11.08.05

The Weekend Recap 11.7.05

I love Mondays. Just as a FYI, that was sarcasm.

So I'm pretty late with my Weekend Recap post. Work is nuts and I've had no time to myself recently. My apologies, folks. Won't happen again.

Friday
Kiko and I have a veternarian appointment. The Vet Assistant is still overly nice, exceedingly talkative, and quite flirty. I do not ask her out because of what has been going on with the FOF. I'm not sure whether to kick myself or commend myself.

FOF comes over around 7ish and we grab some great Chinese from Orient Garden. We had planned on checking out a movie, but both of us are beat from the week, so we decide to head back to my place for some wine. One bottle of Cabernet, another of Pinot Noir and we are hot and heavy on the couch. Honestly, I feel like I'm in high school again. I had forgotten what The Dry Humping was like. Anyway, this goes on for hours...literally. At this point, I'm pretty sure I could hammer a nail into a solid steel wall with my manhood. Unfortunately, there's no relief for either Sethro or Sethro Jr. She stays the night.

Saturday
FOF and I have some coffee and breakfast. She leaves shortly after, since Pops is coming over so we can head to the game. I'm actually a little sad to see her leave.

Dad arrives and we pack up for the game (including tailgating fuel). The day is beautiful and there's nothing like Chapel Hill in the Autumn on gameday. The Tar Heels tease me yet again with a huge win, keeping them hopeful for bowl eligibility.

Saturday evening was uneventful. For the most part. I was absolutely exhausted so I just chilled. Received a couple text messages from FOF while she was out downtown with her friends, and that was a nice surprise. To add to the shock factor, she ends up calling around 11. She wants to know if she can come over. She wants to know if she can stay because she really enjoyed spending the night with me on Friday. I'm a sucker, so I say, sure. We basically just hang out and talk for a bit. We're both a little narcoleptic...sleep beckons.

Sunday
Cereal and coffee (as if you had to ask). She is impressed by my masterful coffee (and who wouldn't be...its from The Cuisinart). We actually enjoy some morning time together, just hanging out on the couch...more conversation, a little background jazz. We make plans for later that afternoon.

Our plans involved taking Kiko to the Dog Park, and while the true Queen of Sethroland is reluctant to take a drive, she eventually succumbs to my will and gets in the car (i.e. I pick her up and put her in). Meet up with FOF and I introduce Kiko to the roommate's cats. Heh. Another coaxing into the car and off we go. Kiko loves the Dog Park, and the Dog Park loves Kiko. She is officially tabbed as a slut puppy since both dog and owner alike cannot resist her puppy cuteness, personality, charm, and gorgeous markings. Well, that, and apparently her ass emits some sort of dog pheremone that makes every single dog in the park want to come sniff her. Kiko quickly establishes herself as the Alpha Bitch in the small dog / puppy section. Despite Kiko's protestations, we say goodbye to all the new friends and head out of there. A quick trip by Backyard Burger (yum!) and we're back at FOF's.

After dinner, I head back to the house with the puppy bear, as FOF follows. I mean, it is Sunday, and Grey's Anatomy does come on at 10pm. And she has the new Office Space with Flair DVD. As an aside, a woman who likes Office Space is OK in my book. We watch both. Sorta. Lots of making out and other stuff during Office Space. Sometimes its good to watch a movie that both parties have seen previously. Anywho, she ends up leaving a little later, and I'm finally able to get more than 4 hours of sleep. Who do I talk to about a parade?

Epilogue
Lots of time spent with FOF. Still no Secks. More to come later.

Top 4 Fears Surrounding Commitment

...or Women And Their Crazy Rules, Part Deux.

A little change of pace to the normal Top 5 (well, Top 4 for today), but we're going to tie it into the current happenings in The Life of Sethro. So stand back...I'm about to drop some introspective dogma here, and it could get messy.

So, I spent the better part of yesterday and this morning racking my brain, trying to understand why I'm so hesitant to jump into something with the FOF, who seems to fit just about every criteria I have in a girlfriend. I believe I'm contemplative enough to understand that there will always be some hesitation in commiting to someone new after coming off a six year marriage and another eight month relationship. But, I came away from those with the realization of what I wanted, and what I didn't want, out of a partner. Knowing that, I have a sense of being ready and open to something new.

I do not fear being in a relationship. I actually like being in a relationship. I enjoy having someone to come home to, being able to share how my day went. I dig the feeling of being loved and appreciated by someone I adore. I want that sense of having my best friend and best lover by my side in all things. So no, it isn't fear of commitment.

Additionally, while I enjoy being single, I know that there's more out there than casual relationships, hot sweaty porn star sex with random women, late nights in bars, and complete and total independence. Shit. Did I just say that? I guess I did. I'm secure in being single and have no issues in needing someone to make my life complete. I do, however, want to ultimately share that life with someone.

So where does that leave me? Well, I could be wrong, but after this reflection, I feel there are these four things that may be holding me back.

4. Fear of being hurt
So after my last real relationship with MZ, I have the realization that maybe I'm not ready to put my whole self out there. Being hurt sucks ass. In all honesty, I'd rather crawl through a ditch of molten glass filled with razor blades, than to go through something like that again. Now, I'm a realist and I know the potential for being hurt will always be there in a relationship, but it doesn't necessarily make it any easier when thinking about starting something new.

3. Fear of missing out
Ok, you can hate me. Somewhere deep down in my psyche, is a fragment of the grass is always greener syndrome. I can also recognize that its driven by not wanting to settle, like I did in my marriage. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, as long as I can understand when its happening, and make a discernment on what is real and what is perceived. Otherwise, I'll have a veritable Ouroborus of the mind and heart, potentially turning away what could be perfection had I given it a chance.

2. Fear of hurting someone else
I hate...HATE...hurting other people. In fact, as evidenced by my marriage, I'll absorb my own hurt and depression for extended periods of time, just to avoid hurting someone I care about. Its a sad state of affairs, but sometimes one just has to Man Up and do what needs to be done. Its odd. I have no issues within my job at The Evil Corporate Empire. I've given horribly shitty news in the face of horribly shitty circumstances, and not even blinked. And I care about my employees, but for some reason, I have been able to separate personal from business (outside of a few close work friends).

1. Fear of failure
I suspect that the most acute anxiety I have, is that of failing in a commited relationship. That perhaps there is some remnant of self-doubt from the two previous and unsuccessful relationships. In the former, there was a commitment that was supposed to last a lifetime. For a myriad of reasons it did not work, but simplified, we were not compatible. In the latter, we were highly compatible, but the dynamics of the situation did not lend themselves to a successful relationship. In both, there was a sense of being able to do more to save each partnership. Perhaps there is a feeling of not being able to sustain a working relationship. There's the possibility that it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy; that because I have this feeling of apprehensiveness, it acts as a black cloud over these recent affairs with AC and NS, and now possibly FOF, never allowing them a chance to develop. I have to say, if there's any accuracy to this feeling, my therapist and I need to have a heart to heart. And then I need to kick her in the shins for not picking up on these trepidations sooner.

So there you have it, folks. Oddly enough, being able to articulate these fears has helped in my own understanding of them. That said, it doesn't make things any clearer with FOF, so I'm just gonna take things as they come, enjoy getting to know her, and hope for an epiphany sometime in the near future.

Women And Their Crazy Rules

I am concerned that something is wrong with me. Or that maybe I'm more of a stereotypical dude than I thought I might be. If you've followed the blog, you know about Friend Of a Friend (FOF). Last night, she came over after work for a run and some dinner (BTW, she did a good job of keeping up on the run...bonus points). After Mexican (and exhanging fajita burps for a good hour), we hang out, talk, and start to make out on the couch. Tangent here: Is making out still an acceptable term for extended periods of kissing and petting? So somewhere during that make out session, she essentially offers up The Secks™ on a silver platter. With one catch. She wants a commitment and to hear that we are exclusive before jumping into Ye Olde Sack. Now, we've only been going out for three weeks. Things are going fantastic. There is a definite click there. But something held me back from saying, I want to date you and only you, so lets play Hide and Seek with Sethro Jr. Now, she's fine with a casual (read: non-sexual) relationship at this point. I am too, but I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to hold out without testosterone seeping from my pores.

That begs the question: Where is this sudden fear of commitment coming from? I don't feel like I have a fear of commitment. Is it my relationship ADHD? Am I turning into one of those, the grass is always greener, people? God, kill me now if I am.

I'm Lazy, So Here Are More Random Thoughts

-I had a three pound salad for lunch (literally...it was weighed). My bowels will thank me for the fibrous cleansing, however, my asshole has already warned me that I'll, as he puts it, be in for a world of hurt later.

-Knock wood. Kiko is 98% potty trained. No accidents lately, and she's held through the night for the past 4 nights. Even woke me up at 4:45am yesterday morning to let me know she had to go outside. Uh...thanks, Kiko. That said, I'll give the sarcasm a rest. Better to get less sleep than to spend an extra 15 minutes on cleaning soiled carpet.

-Kids are fucking hilarious. I wish I was still a kid. In fact, I wish I was the one on the right. That'd be the face I would make too.

-Must.....resist....urge....to....eat....leftover....Halloween....Snickers. Damn those wily chocolatiers at Mars, Incorporated.

-FOF is coming over tonight to go for a run with me. Should be interesting to see if she can keep up. If she can, she gets major bonus points and kudos. If she can't, I think she's still worth keeping around. Either way, we're going to hang out afterwards, maybe get some chinese.

-Steve America, calling Steve America. Put my nephew Thunder in his cage and come have libations with me Saturday night.

Random Thoughts For The Week - 11.1.05

-WTF? I'm all for a chick performing some good nipple tweakage and even some suckling, but I may have to rethink my position. Yeesh.

-Some jobs just suck. I just saw what must be the most miserable occupation in the world. Road Kill Janitor. Something to be said for earning that GED, boys and girls. I'm driving home on I-40 and I see a man dragging a deer carcass, then hoist it into the bed of a Ford Ranger. Already in the bed were what looked like 6 or 7 carcasses from various types of animals. Somebody's gonna be eatin' good tonight...MmmmMmm!

-David Gilmour or Roger Waters? My two favorite Pink Floyd songs are Shine On You Crazy Diamond and Learning To Fly, so I can't decide.

-I had exactly zero trick-or-treaters last night. None. Nada. I now have enough candy to choke a horse. Or Star Jones. One thing is for certain...I'll never have to worry about hypoglycemia ever again. Hyperglycemia, on the other hand....

-Terrence Malick is one of the best writers and directors in Hollywood. He's only done a few pictures, but each one has been an amazing piece of cinema. The Thin Red Line came out around the same time as the other WW2 drama, Saving Private Ryan, but failed to receive the level of acclaim that the Spielberg feature did. Gotta love Hollywood marketing. Anyway, Malick has a new movie coming out on Christmas Day called The New World. Its essentially a new vision of the John Smith and Pocahontas story and the surrounding dynamics between the European settlers and the Native Americans around Jamestown, Virginia. It looks fantastic.