Phil Collins and The iPod
If I had a time machine, I know how I'd use it. To be able to go back in time to last week, and be able to punch myself in the nuts for what I've caused, would be worth all the money in the world. I hearken back to the great 80's hair band, Cinderella, and their poignant power ballad, Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone). As I told PhD Girl on Monday, every feeling of love, desire, comfort, chemistry, and connection I have for her has been validated with the real potential of losing her.
On Saturday, she responded to my text messages, emails and calls. I also took Steve America's suggestion, and tried the Peter Gabriel and a boombox move from Say Anything. 'Cept, I couldn't find any Peter Gabriel, and I don't think they sell boomboxes any longer. So I settled on some Phil Collins and my iPod. Turned way up. I'm pretty sure she could make out that it was Phil Collins (or maybe a drowning cat) from the faint, high-pitched noise coming from the iPod's earbuds. Anyway, she agreed to meet me for coffee that night, and we were able to talk. Long story short, the conversation was difficult for both of us, but at this point, she is open to the idea of working on things. That doesn't mean we are back together. It doesn't mean that there isn't the potential that she could walk out of my life tomorrow, if she so chooses. It does mean that I have the enormous task of gaining her trust, love, and respect back. I do not plan to fail. As long as PhD Girl provides me the opportunity to make this right, I will not let her down. Besides, I have identified the fact that she has superhuman mental endowments. So much so, that I'm positive that PhD Girl is the alter-ego for her superheroine, Psyclone*. She certainly ripped through me on Saturday night, and I don't particularly want to be on the other end of her brand of cerebral dynamism again.
In all seriousness, at least one issue has been identified, which will need considerable introspective focus. Its an amazing thing, how a singular personality trait, while not a basic framework used to define oneself, can have such a behemothic impact on life when it surfaces. You see, all this while, I have been exercising my demons, whereas now I must begin exorcising them. Amazing the difference a little 'e' makes in the meaning of two words. I know that I have a tremendous amount of work to do in order to understand all of these issues, to discover the fundamental cause, and then to reconstruct that part of me as whole. Focusing my guilt, shame, and loss into constructive effort will be key. Those things, along with the empathic hurt derived from PhD Girl's perspective, have eaten at me day and night so far, so its time I made use of them.
With that said, I appreciate all the advice and well-wishes from you all. I'm not sure what will happen with all this, but I do thank you for your support. Now, where's the liquor?
*Ed. note: If PhD Girl is a superheroine, I guess that makes me the archvillain? Perhaps I should be known as The Equivocator? Using my powers of deception in an attempt to take over the world?
On Saturday, she responded to my text messages, emails and calls. I also took Steve America's suggestion, and tried the Peter Gabriel and a boombox move from Say Anything. 'Cept, I couldn't find any Peter Gabriel, and I don't think they sell boomboxes any longer. So I settled on some Phil Collins and my iPod. Turned way up. I'm pretty sure she could make out that it was Phil Collins (or maybe a drowning cat) from the faint, high-pitched noise coming from the iPod's earbuds. Anyway, she agreed to meet me for coffee that night, and we were able to talk. Long story short, the conversation was difficult for both of us, but at this point, she is open to the idea of working on things. That doesn't mean we are back together. It doesn't mean that there isn't the potential that she could walk out of my life tomorrow, if she so chooses. It does mean that I have the enormous task of gaining her trust, love, and respect back. I do not plan to fail. As long as PhD Girl provides me the opportunity to make this right, I will not let her down. Besides, I have identified the fact that she has superhuman mental endowments. So much so, that I'm positive that PhD Girl is the alter-ego for her superheroine, Psyclone*. She certainly ripped through me on Saturday night, and I don't particularly want to be on the other end of her brand of cerebral dynamism again.
In all seriousness, at least one issue has been identified, which will need considerable introspective focus. Its an amazing thing, how a singular personality trait, while not a basic framework used to define oneself, can have such a behemothic impact on life when it surfaces. You see, all this while, I have been exercising my demons, whereas now I must begin exorcising them. Amazing the difference a little 'e' makes in the meaning of two words. I know that I have a tremendous amount of work to do in order to understand all of these issues, to discover the fundamental cause, and then to reconstruct that part of me as whole. Focusing my guilt, shame, and loss into constructive effort will be key. Those things, along with the empathic hurt derived from PhD Girl's perspective, have eaten at me day and night so far, so its time I made use of them.
With that said, I appreciate all the advice and well-wishes from you all. I'm not sure what will happen with all this, but I do thank you for your support. Now, where's the liquor?
*Ed. note: If PhD Girl is a superheroine, I guess that makes me the archvillain? Perhaps I should be known as The Equivocator? Using my powers of deception in an attempt to take over the world?
posted by sethro at 9:13:00 AM
6 Comments:
Darling Sethro,
I'm glad you guys are taking baby steps.
Trust is a fragile thing; easily lost, hard to repair or replace. I'm hoping for the best for you.
Hmm...it is disturbing to me that the foolhardy remake of "Say Anything" could potentially involve some dude standing outside with an iPod. Just doesn`t have the same heartstring-plucking feel somehow....
Anyway, I`m glad to hear that she was receptive to your calls, and is willing to dip her toes in the water again. I`m a big believer in serendipity, my friend, and perhaps this little crack will end up forging a seal that ultimately provides an even stronger basis. I`m rooting for ya, Sethro.
Huh,
Pretty sure I should be following the "Poor Sethro" vein here, but... jeez dude, you fucked up but good.
Some thoughts might be:
Not only did you disrespect her, you also insulted her intelligence as well as lied to what should be a good friend of yours. Cause, honestly, if your girlfriend, the one you love isn't a good friend, the all you are building your relationship on is the "Secks" and good looks.
While getting back in her good graces is obviously important, if the woman is as intelligent as you say, perhaps you should regaining her friendship first?
And lastly, and this may get me booted from the Sethro Fan Club, if you are dallying with someone else, isn't that indicative that those roaming genes of yours are starting to itch? And then to lie about it? Yep, PhD girl is a good catch, BUT, is it the right catch for you?
Sorry you're hurting babe. Soul searching time seems to be ahead. Hope all goes well.
yeah i don't think anyone was saying "poor sethro." i just think the situation sucks overall. but you are only human sethro and this will take some time.
oh silly me, i forgot you're not human. you are a superhuman archvillian by the name of "The Brown Bomber." you shoot brown swatches of corduroy out of your fingers :)
happy hearts day! mwah!
Shame. We`ll miss ya, Sethro. Good luck out there!
First,
I must say that you have excellent taste in 80s music. Phil Collins is vat of heart tugging love songs. In Too Deep, Against All Odds, Groovy Kind of Love. Too many to name. Anyways, I'm sure from the moment you lied she wanted a reason to forgive you. You gave her one to at least try. Hope it all works out for you. No more lying, no matter how bad the truth is.
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