Don't Call It A Comeback, And Other Barmy Brainworks

Don't call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear

-James Todd Smith
aka. LL Cool J

- In case you were wondering, the question on blog-flirting stemmed from The Girlfriend googling me, and noticing a comment I made on Vespertine's blog. See, to me, what I wrote was playful banter...trying (and failing miserably) to be witty. In reality, I did not want, nor expect, a picture of Vespertine's butt. I'm of the impression that cutesy repartee was the norm on blog-comments, and that its all harmless. I dunno, perhaps I'm wrong. Is it possible to develop blog-crushes on other bloggers? Would those crushes have the potential to turn into blog-relationships?

- I have two songs that I cannot get out of my head, and they couldn't be more diametrically opposed. The first one is Slowdive by Siouxsie and the Banshees. The other? Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn. What. The. Fuck?

- Here's a pet peeve of mine. Drivers who don't actively merge into traffic, but instead drift into a busy line of traffic as the merge lane runs out. Like its their God-given right to access into my lane, despite the fact that they weren't paying enough fucking attention to merge when a space was available. Instead, they cause the car they are effectively cutting off to slam on brakes in order to avoid an accident. I'll say again, cars should come standard with rocket launchers.

- Is there anything better than waking up to a blowjob? Yeah, I didn't think so.

- The New World is brilliant. Terrence Malick has proved, once again, that he is one of the best filmmakers in the past three decades. If you enjoy an epic drama with good story, excellent acting, and amazing imagery delivered in a somewhat unconventional method of direction, go see this movie. If you prefer your cinema a little more low-brow, you may want to skip it. Overheard as I was leaving the theatre: We shoulda gone ta see Big Momma's House.

- Had someone told me that at any point in the season, the Carolina Hurricanes would be the best team in the NHL, I would've punched them in their whorish mouth. Oh...they just added one of the best combo Centers in the league. Kick ass!

- My other girlfriend, Jessica Alba, was just named as the #1 Most Desirable Woman by AskMen.com. You're goddmaned right she is.

I Need A New Job

Folks, there will be very few, if any, updates this week. Just so happens that this week is normally my busiest of the year, and to heap an extra pile of shit on top of an already saturated workload, we're experiencing issues in the product we're trying to release on February 15th. Fuck. I'm hoping to pick up with the blogging this weekend and next week. I have been brainstorming, and documenting most of these for future blogging adventures, so its doubtful that I'll run out of things to write about.

All that said, Charleston was awesome. The weather wasn't bad at all, the company was fantastic, and the food was excellent. I can't wait to go back, perhaps this autumn.

Just to note, I'm still very smitten with The Girlfriend. She's knocked me off my feet.

Whilst I'm gone, I'll give you guys a question to chew on:

*What are everyone's thoughts on blog-flirting? You know, dropping in on various blogs and engaging in some playfully flirtatious banter...is there something more to it, or is it just a generally accepted practice among the blog community?


So, talk amongst yourselves, and until next week, you kids play nice.

Heading to Chaztown

Alright boys and girls, avid readers. I'm about to head out to King Charles' Towne (you know, the primary Southern port that defended the homeland against those goddamned limey bastards back in that little skirmish around 1775). I'll soak in a little history, shopping, and good eats, not to mention parlay with a ghost or three (what with Charleston being the Most Haunted City In America). Talk to you folks in a few days.

The Bachelor, And Other Unguided Cogitations

-There is nothing better than watching 20 women prostitute themselves to this Bachelor fellow. I think its transparently obvious that this Dr. Travis cannot get enough of the attention, and loves his position of relative power. There has to be an immense level of vanity and sociopathic behavior involved to be able to openly bullshit, and ultimately toy, with these women on national television. That said, Sarah is my favorite, and if you hurt her Dr. Travis, I will be forced to open up a can of Country Whoopass™.


-I miss The Girlfriend when she's not around.

-Everyone around my age from the South can tell you where they were during three major events. One, the shuttle Columbia disaster. Two, 911. Three, Dale Earnhart's death. Amazing the iconic power of NASCAR below the Mason-Dixon.

-I'm headed to Charleston, SC this weekend with my ladyfriend. Chaztown is absolutely one of my favorite American cities. History, charm, and there's always something to do.

-Work sucks.

-I'll be rooting for NCSU tonight in their basketball game against Dook University. Go Pack!

The Weekend Recap 1.16.06

Friday
So I was asked to attend a party with The Girlfriend. A party which consisted of the other PhD interns in her group. I had met a few of her friends previously, but this was nearly the entire group, plus significant others. I more than held my own in the group of doctoral candidates, although I did find out that I have a touch of Body Dysmorphic Disorder and I'm potentially a high functioning autistic.

Yeah, I'm a very good driver.
Wapner comes on at 5. Yeah.

We had a very good time and I really like her friends. They are most certainly not what one pictures when one envisions a room full of PhD's. They are not snooty know-it-alls, or dull academics. They are likable and down-to-earth. They drink. Heavily. They tell funny jokes, albeit with big words. Anyway, I had a blast.

Saturday
Enjoyed a fantastic run in the early AM. Best of the young new year. Oddly enough, I never liked running in the cold weather, but I'm beginning to appreciate the chill on my face and the additional level of exertion needed to process the cold air. Its either that, or I feel like Rocky Balboa with the sweatsuit and towel-around-neck look.

UNC lost. Young team, I know, but I was really hoping for a win against Miami.

So, The Girlfriend came back over in the early afternoon and we did some shopping. Who knew that stores had fantastical deals this time of the year. Anywho, in visiting some of my local haberdasheries, I racked up on some new duds.

We both relaxed a little before dinner. Football rocks. A girlfriend who will not only watch football, but will throw out a, DAMN, did you see that HIT?, rocks my fucking nuts.

That night, I introduced The Girlfriend to Monkey Meat™. Obviously, it isn't really monkey meat...that's sort of an inside joke. It is, however, the best fucking food EVAR. Manna from heaven, I says. We're talking Mongolian Barbeque and the world famous, Bali Hai. Rock. My. Nuts. She loved it. Of course, I loved it.

Since the fire in our mouths had yet to subside, we decided to do Marble Slab. Who knew those wily motherfuckers had Birthday Cake flavored ice cream? Cripes.

More football at my house after ice cream. Sleep came shortly after.

Sunday
Enjoyed coffee and cereal with The Girlfriend. It was a good morning, even though we just sat on the couch in our PJ's, chatting, playing with Kiko, and eventually watching Saturday night's DVR'd SNL with the goddess that is Scarlett Johanssen. Woof.

After lunch, The Girlfriend went back to her place, and I was able to get a good bit of work done. As an aside, January is an extremely busy work-month for me, so I'm going to blame my lack of blog and comment posting on that. Anyway, I did catch the Panthers game. On the road to Detroit, Rock City, BABY!! Steve Smith is the best wide receiver in the National Football League. Honestly, its not even close.

The rest of the evening was spent working. Meh. I hate weekend work.

Tag...I'm It?

Thanks, Diane. Honestly, I needed a good kick in the ass with regards to posting, but I should at least include the obligitory, what the fuck is this shit?, statement so as not to lose curmudgeon status. So without further ado, I give you the Tagged Q&A:

Four jobs you have had in your life:
IT Security Manager (my current role)
Network Administrator (my previous occupation)
Automobile Detail Technician (um, car washer)
Farmhand (queue the Bonanza music)

Four movies you could watch over and over:
Blazing Saddles (best comedy of all time)
Dances With Wolves (must be the Cherokee in me)
The Seven Samurai (Kurosawa's best work)
Star Wars (the one I stood in line for in '77)

Four places you've lived:
Biloxi, Mississippi
Dallas, North Carolina
Greenville, North Carolina
Cary, North Carolina

Four TV shows you love to watch:
Lost (Best Show EVAR)
Grey's Anatomy (Katherine Heigl...mmm)
ESPN Sportscenter (dude-crack)
South Park (Chappelle's Show would be here, but...)

Four places you've been on vacation:
London, England
Zurich, Switzerland
Rocky Mountains, Colorado
Grand Cayman

Four of your favorite foods:
Mongolian BBQ
Sushi
Cereal
Coffee

Four places you'd rather be right now:
Home
Banff, BC
The 3rd plane of Hell
Anywhere but here

Four sites I visit daily:
Inside Carolina
WRAL
Coastal Federal Credit Union
Dictionary.com

Four Bloggers you are tagging:
VP of Dior (cuz we're tight)
Vespertine (cuz she's new)
Finy (cuz she has the time)
Carrie (cuz she was my first)

Haiku, Bitches!

I'm feeling all creative and shit, so let me get my verse on.

My back is smarting;
Sex will still be had tonight;
The show must go on.


Chicken is not good?
What about the corned beef hash?
No, my dog eats poop.


Lindsay Lohan sucks;
Not that I would know first hand.
Homograph, bitches.

Blah, Blah, Blah

I'm going to forego the Weekend Recap for this past week. Suffice to say that drinks were imbibed with Steve America and much time was spent with PhD Girl. I can't seem to get enough of her, and she feels the same. That said, we're still living as individuals and are not artificially accelerating the relationship. Its happening fast, but I don't believe either of us mind. So, here-to-fore, PhD Girl will be known as The Girlfriend. Any smartass comments from the Rogue's Gallery will be dealt with accordingly.

Now that that is out of the way, I'm just gonna drop some adventitious nuggets of contemplation instead.

-I am now the proud owner of a brown courdorouy blazer that makes me look like a published author. Or Harrison Ford. Or Harrison Ford playing a published author.

-The Panthers kicked major fucking ass against the Giants (that's a silent 'a', by the way). Detroit, here we come!

-My sister seems to have some sort of off physiological reaction when talking to me on the phone. Whenever I call, or she calls me, she inevitably has to take a shit. Now, I'm not sure what that says about our relationship. My voice is either very comforting to her bowels or there's some deep-seeded issue between us that causes her to think of pinching off a deuce when conversing with your's truly.

-Since one of The Girlfriend's internships is at a local Federal Prison, I get caught up on all the kick-ass prison dynamics, not to mention the fantastic lingo. Apparently, child molesters (including pornographists) are not well received by the general population, and are called cho mo's in The Joint. Did you know that playing Dungeons and Dragons in jail indentifies you as a cho mo? I mean, fuck, I'm gonna have to get rid of my twenty-sided dice and my Dungeon Masters Guide. If nothing else, I'll at least be prepared if I ever get locked up. All that said, just wait 'til I tell you about shotgunning.

New Year's Recap 1.5.06

We'll keep this short and sweet. I'm having trouble coming up with anything witty, so to say the least, my New Year's Resolution isn't going very well. Call it writer's block. Call it being lazy. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll break out of it soon. Until then, here's what I got into this past weekend.

Friday
PhD Girl returned from New Orleans. I think we left the house to eat, but outside of that, I'm pretty sure that we rarely made it out of bed. I'm still tired.

I will take this opportunity to talk a little more about PhD Girl. She is pretty fucking awesome. I love hanging out with her and we have a blast together. Our conversations are mind-blowing, plus, she's the only woman I know that can use the words fuck and recalcitrant in the same sentence. That's hot. I'm attracted to her physically, sexually, and emotionally. Woof.

Saturday
Steve America, with James Earl and Tharmas in tow, arrived at Casa de Sethro at 7am sharp for the trip down to Charlotte, as we were headed to the Meineke Car Care Bowl. Had a blast, and I even cheered for State. Just a little bit.

Arrived home and prepped for New Year's Eve. PhD Girl came over and we met Steve and Dan............Yelle America for dinner and drinks. Food was excellent, company was even better. I was, as a matter of being the common denominator, clowned on all night long by all parties. No worries, as I frequently clown on myself. All in all, it was a really good time, and it gave the Americas a chance to meet PhD Girl. That's saying a lot, since I haven't introduced any of my past consorts to my friends.

Sunday
Lazy, lazy day. Ran some errands with my new ladyfriend.

So, in addition to introducing PhD Girl to Mr. and Mrs. America, she also accompanied me to my parents for New Year's Day dinner. Grilled pork loin, collard greens, black-eyed peas, and cornbread. Fucking yum. The parents took to her, and she to them. Shit fire and save matches, folks, this thing is serious. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.

Epilogue
I survived over a complete weekend with a woman at my house, in my space. And I still want to see her again. And again.

*sigh*