Top 5 Childhood Cartoons

Lets take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? We all had our favorite cartoons as kids, unless you had horrible fucking parents who didn't let you watch cartoons, and if that's the case, I suggest questioning your parents as to why they completely ruined your childhood. Then seek therapy. Anyway, this one was hard. There were so many that I look back fondly on, and still seek out on Cartoon Network today. I couldn't leave a few unmentioned, so I had to add an Honorable Mention category at the end.


5. The Tom & Jerry Show
Unless you were born in the mid to late 80's you know who Tom and Jerry are. Even then, there have been enough reruns for one of younger age to get acquainted with them. Classic cat chases mouse, cat catches mouse, cat beats the shit out of mouse, mouse gets away and, in turn, beats the shit out of cat. Throw in Spike the bulldog or an anthropomorphic hot chick cat every once in awhile, and comedy ensues. Formulaic, yes...but still funny as shit to this day. Plus, every once in a great while, they'd throw in an episode of Droopy. Hells yeah!


4. Johnny Quest
Coming in at number 4 is Johnny Quest. This was a tough one for me, because there were so many great Hanna-Barbera cartoons out at this time (Space Ghost, Herculoids, Mightor, et al). Two things sealed the deal for me. Number one, the theme song. It rocks. Maybe best cartoon theme song ever. Number two, Race fucking Bannon. Bad ass sidekick and Quest family friend...need a jet fixed, he's your man...need someone beat down, Race will punch an evil henchman in the mouth. It was the only Saturday morning cartoon that I can remember where people actually died. Horribly. I did hate the dog. Take him out of the show, and I may have to re-evaluate.


3. Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
Ruh-roh, Raggy! Now, lets get one thing straight. I'm talking about the old Scooby Doo...the original, where the gang went to {insert spooky place here}, split into two teams, found {insert ghost/monster/demon here}, got chased, formulated trap which went horribly unaccording to plan while still managing to catch the villain, unraveling the mystery that placed Old Farmer Jenkins as behind it all along (who then uttered the oft used line, ...and I woulda gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their dog!). The line is drawn when some fucking brainiac over at Hanna-Barbera decided he wanted to add more humor to the show, and added the worst cartoon character ever created, Scrappy Doo. I'm pretty sure that said brainiac was later found in a seedy hotel room with his head bashed in by a porcelain replica of the Mystery Machine.


2. Superfriends
Raise your hand if you ever played Superfriends as a kid. You did so because Superfriends was kick ass. Everyone wanted to be a Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman (oddly enough, no one ever wanted to be Robin or Aquaman, though someone's younger brother always ended up filling one of those spots). The show itself was a mainstay on Saturday morning television for twelve years. That's a long time when network execs were always looking for something new and exciting. Now, don't get me wrong, they spiced up the Superfriends every so often...kicking Wendy and Marvin to the curb early on, bringing in the absolutely useless Wonder Twins (form of, a bucket of water...form of, an eagle...ok, now what the fuck do we do?), and even bowing to Affirmitave Action and adding heros like Black Vulcan, Samurai, Hawkgirl, and Apache Chief. Still, one of the best cartoons ever, especially considering the voice over talent...Casey Kasem as Robin and Ted Knight as the Narrator.


1. Looney Tunes
Yeah, I know, kinda anti-climactic. But, how could you not put this as number one? You have the number one cartoon character of all time, Bugs Bunny, and a cast of characters too numerous to name. Hell, I could do a full post on Looney Tunes, but I'll manage in the space I have here. The animated shorts themselves were chock full of allegory and hidden innuendo, making it perfect for kids and adults alike. Some cartoons won academy awards and been selected by the National Library of Congress as Culturally Significant. Distinctive honors. That said, at the core, it was just downright funny. Hell, I can't even make any good jokes about it...in fact, I think I'm welling up a little at the great memories of sitting on the couch as a kid with my dad watching Yosemite Sam as the Black Knight, riding a stupid idjit dragon, chase Bugs around a castle to try and retrieve a singing sword. That, my friends, is pure zen. Rest in peace Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng, and Mel Blanc.

Honorable Mention
Space Ghost, Fat Albert, The Herculoids, Spiderman, Captain Caveman, Speed Racer, Rocky and Bullwinkle