I Give Up

Every year, 'round about August, my brain shifts gears to get ready for college football season. Teams have been practicing, articles are written in the paper, the team websites are updated with all the recent information. During this brain shifting process, I also get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach...when I was younger I thought it was gas, but it turns out, its hope. Hope that my beloved Tar Heels will make something happen in the upcoming season...that they'll have a great team. I'm beginning to wish it were just gas. In 1997, Carolina finished the season as the number 4 ranked team in the country...life was good. Since 1997, Carolina hasn't finished the season in the Top 25...life is bad. Who knows why...bad coaching, shitty administration, not getting the right recruits, bad luck, karma...I don't profess to know. All I know is, each year I have two conversations with myself, one three weeks before the season, the second, three hours before the first game. They go a little something like this:

Conversation 1
Me: You know, this could be the year. The offense looks great, defense should be very solid, we're returning 17 starters from last year. I am pumped about this team. We're going bowling this year. If its the Peach Bowl, you and I are going to Hotlanta!

Me: Yeah! You're right. And smart. And damn good looking. But I digress. I'm in agreement...this season should be awesome! Go Heels!

Conversation 2
Me: Dude, I don't know about this team. Do you really think we can be good? I mean, the schedule is murder, and you know what happens every year we get our hopes up. They're usually dashed pretty early in the season.

Me: Chill! We're going to roll this team today. I'm psyched! You always do this every year...try and bring me down right before the first game. That's ok, I still love you, and you're still smart and good looking. Now, grab me a beer and let's get ready for this game.

Same convserations this year. Same result as the past 7 years. 0-2 with losses to GT and Wisconsin. I'm pretty damn sure that some fan from Cow College got the only bright idea of his life about 8 years ago, and decided to cast some sort of redneck voodoo curse on the Heels by slaughtering all his farm animals and drinking their blood, while writing crazy-ass voodoo neck symbols on his barn wall in human feces. Whatever he did, it worked and worked well, cuz folks, the UNC Tar Heels of 05-06 suck. Again.

So, what does any fan do after a big loss? That's right...pull out the X-Box and NCAA Football 2006, recreate the game, and proceed to beat the virtual team 52-3. Take that Wisconsin and Barry Alverez! Now, someone explain to me why I'm not the coach of the Heels?

I'll carry on folks. I'm used to it by now. I'll watch every game, hoping for improvement (I'll even take some lucky bounces), but when its all said and done, I will be disappointed by season's end. Still, there's always basketball season!!