Singin' In The Rain, And Other Tales Of Witticism

*Apparently, North Carolina rain contains some sort of methamphetamine for dogs. Everytime that we get precipitation here, Kiko goes absolutely ass-crazy.

Let me set this up for you faithful readers. Kiko is normally a very calm puppy. Great temperment, and for a pup, listens very well. Sure, she can be an obstinate little shit from time to time, but what puppy isn't? When its potty time, I can normally let her outside, no leash. She'll do her business and when I call, she'll come back most of the time. If she doesn't come back right away, I can always entice her with a treat.

Now, this all changes when it rains. Normally calm, obedient Puppy Bear turns into a goddamed werewolf, directly off a fresh kill. Attacking everything that moves, including some things that do not move, like leaves or trees. She becomes fascinated with the hill behind the house, leading down to the road, tantalized by the cars below and how she could potentially eat them. Her territorial area quintuples in size, encompassing neighboring decks, patios, landscaped natural areas, and a large portion of Central America.

This lycanthropic transformation can be dealt with in three different ways. One, I can let her roam for a bit, call for her to come inside every 2 minutes, and hope she doesn't come back with a Pirelli in her mouth. This keeps me dry for the most part, but I become insanely worried about where she's going and what she's doing. Two, I can take her on a leash and walk her around the yard until she does her business. This means I get soaked. To the bone. I have found out that Kiko will shit when she's good and ready to shit. Not before. Three, I can let her out and then try to find her when she takes off. This not only concerns me, as in scenario #1, but it also leaves me soaked to the core, as in scenario #2. Not favorable. Here's the clencher. Invariably, if I choose options #2 or #3, I will step in dog shit. This is not a might, maybe, perhaps, possibly, potentially, feasibly, conceivably, perchance, reasonably, or even God willing. It is a fucking given that I'm stepping in dog shit. Umbrellas don't work. Ponchos are too much of a pain in the ass. Meh...maybe I should just put up a fence.

*I saw King Kong last night with PhD Girl. Beautifully crafted movie. Phenomenal screenplay. CGI continues to get better and better, and the emotion that they invoke in Mr. Kong is amazing. Its a a bit bewildering that you leave the theater empathizing with a computer generated gorilla. I have to say that Naomi Watts is more than a little breathtaking as actress, Ann Darrow, with Adrian Brody and Jack Black turning in solid performances. . A little long in spots, but a masterpiece of modern cinenema, nonetheless. Peter Jackson rocks my nuts. So does PhD Girl.

*The antibiotics are still wreaking havoc on Kiko. This morning, she vomited a squirrel, a sweetgum tree, a bottle of Geritol, and a set of fuzzy dice. In some sort of grey-green distillation. Anyone know a good carpet cleaning company in the Triangle area?

*Is there a more annoying song on the radio than Laffy Taffy by D4L? It literally makes me want to strangle myself with an ethernet cable. Or razor wire, whatever's closest.